Getting to the bottom of America’s most urgen tissue

Since it’s apparently futile to try to wake people up to what’s going on right in front of their eyes, let’s address an issue that’s riveted the world’s attention on a problem that’s flush in the face of millions of Americans.

We in the US seem to have an inordinate amount of time on our hands (or is it glands?) that we spend creating issues that most other people in the world haven’t had the luxury of worrying about. Consider that we’re the first country to create a huge business out of charging people money to…lose weight, while much of the world doesn’t have enough to eat.

We also spend a lot of time focused on plumbing, mainly our own, and we tend to complicate and confuse things. To the best of my knowledge, we pioneered not only all sorts of cosmetic surgery – including convincing women with no medical needs to shove silicone in their chests so they’ll be more attractive to immature “men” –  but also gender reassignment surgery. Both speak to being dissatisfied with who we are, what we look like and trying to “fix” it from the outside in.

A current, costly concern has developed about which bathroom people should use who “identify” with the gender opposite the one they were born. This has provoked all sorts of outrage, social justice concerns, lawsuits, religious objections, legislation, etc. The people at the center, or perhaps bottom, of this concern represent a statistically miniscule portion of the population. Nonetheless, a compassionate and reasonable solution only requires that we put things in their proper perspective. We need to stop seeing bathrooms as politicized social gathering places and simply as spaces designed to accommodate human biological functions and needs.

We can resolve most of this with means that are even now already in use.

Many/most public bathrooms, including in schools, have facilities with multiple stalls for the designated gender. Objections to blurring the lines for the minority, and perfectly legitimate ones (unless you’re a college educated leftist, etc.), include a concern that children aren’t put at risk by the presence of someone who “qualifies” to use the facility based on their chosen gender. (There actually are two genders, check your chromosomes, they’re not reassignable.)

The solution – and it will probably be less costly than all the disruptive machinations engendered by this lunacy – would be to convert existing multi-stall, single gender bathrooms to what one can often find at places like Venice Beach, California. Specifically, instead of stalls with barely lockable doors and separating panels that are generally open from the floor up to a randomly determined height, affording minimal privacy, each stall is converted into a self-contained, truly lockable toilet facility…available to both genders. This is hardly a new or foreign concept; many places already have individual bathrooms with symbols that display access to either gender. This would become the standard for all public facilities wherever the issue iss of concern.

The only difference would be that sinks are then located in an open, common area for men, women and children alike. Not an insurmountable difficulty in this age of plumbing reassignment.

Certainly, many existing gender specific facilities could be modified to make them into self- contained individual units with the aforementioned common sink area. We have public drinking fountains so locating sinks near non-gender specific bathrooms shouldn’t be too difficult to adapt to.

While there would be certain costs for conversions, new facilities could be designed in this manner and needless legal expenses and social hysteria could be avoided.

Of course, one drawback would be that the hours of meetings, protests, marches and outright rebellions would no longer be “necessary” and social-sexual gender advocates could go back to focusing on their regular studies, until the next cause célèbre was socially engineered.

And no, that’s not a typo way up there, just a play on words.

 

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